(no subject)

[nolly]

I just posted this as a comment in someone else's LJ, but I think it deserves a post of its own here.

I hate calling when I don't know who's going to answer the phone. Even when I know everyone in the house, if I want to talk to one specifically, I'll freeze. It's part of why I'll nearly always call a cell before a home number. There are a few exceptions, like my parents, and maybe my brother and his wife. Strangers are a subset of not knowing who will answer. I do find business calls easier than personal calls, usually because I don't feel like I'm potentially interrupting something more important -- I'm calling for a legitimate reason. They're also usually easier to script. I'd hate coldcalling, though.

Comments

[triptogn.livejournal.com]

you script your calls to friends? hehehe =)

[nolly.livejournal.com]

Not like a full written down script or anything. But I do tend to rehearse conversations in my head before I have them, if I ever do. ("How would X react if I told zir this? What would I say then?") Conversations with friends, phone or other are harder to predict than business calls -- and that's a good thing.

Rehearsals

[voider.livejournal.com]

I'm right with you there. I tend to have conversations with people in my head so I'll be more prepared when I do talk to them. The problem comes when the first part happens and not the second.

[supersniffles.livejournal.com]

I hate calling, period. I have a (mostly) irrational fear that people will hear my voice and hang up on me. And that's when I'm calling friends!

Business calls I can do. In fact it's a major portion of my job. But at least when they yell at me I can comiserate with the rest of the office and I'm getting paid.

[nolly.livejournal.com]

I don't ever really like it. But I don't freeze up nearly as much calling a cell phone as a multi-user landline. (Single-user landlines are in between, but closer to cell phones.) It's probably partly because I'm a preacher's kid, so I grew up with a phone call being a high-priority interrupt. When your number is the one people call when bad things happen, like major illnesses, accidents, deaths, you don't screen calls. You don't turn off the ringer. You answer ASAP. Since cell phones weren't common in that time and place, I don't have a mental taboo against not answering them, nor do I assume other people won't ignore them. So I consider a cell call less of an interruption than a landline call, because it's more easily ignored, if it's not a good time.

[firecat]

I'm the same way. But I hate calling, period.

[nolly.livejournal.com]

I could paste in my response to the previous comment, but I"ll just point instead. In summary, because of the way I was raised, a landline phonecall is a high priority interrupt for me, and I'm not comfortable sending that level of interrupt to my friends when the message is not that important. Cell phones are much more ignorable, so I don't mind calling them as much.

[linenoise.livejournal.com]

Phones suck. Except when they don't. (seeble)

[nolly.livejournal.com]

Yeah.

[gymgeek.livejournal.com]

I have no problem calling people. I hate leaving messages on machines. I detest this. And I hate it when people leave long, rambling messages on my machine. I just want to know your name and phone number. That's it. And that's due to the fact I tend to leave long, rambling messages for some reason, and I hate that I do it. I am one of two people I know that don't own a cellphone or at least have a partner with a cellphone. I'm not changing that fact, either.

[gymgeek.livejournal.com]

As a follow up, I don't worry about interrupting someone doing something more important. If it were that important, they should have let the machine get it, or just not answer in general. I know when I'm in the middle of my stories, I let the machine get it. M*A*S*H or Babylon 5 is way more important than any phone call. :)

[nolly.livejournal.com]

While I know most people do that, I was not brought up that way, I can't ignore the phone myself, and I can't assume other people ignore it or turn off the ringer. While I know this is my own hang-up (no pun intended), it's not one I can easily break.

[nolly.livejournal.com]

Sometimes I'd rather talk to the machine than the person. Other times, I'll hang up on the machine, because I only want to talk to the person, and I don't even feel like saying "This is Nolly, please call me back as soon as you can." Either because what I wanted to talk about was time sensitive, or because it's too complicated to explain on a machine without it coming out too dire, or something.

phones

[pir-anha.livejournal.com]

i dislike interrupt processing, ergo i dislike the phone. i don't like being called and i don't like calling. and yeah, i usually prefer to connect with a machine if i call.

with the exception of people very close to me. but even those know better than to call me casually. well, except for the paramour who calls from the grocery store because the shopping list is at home. :) but even in my LDRs the phone is usually not a mode of communication we use. haven't called the *poing* in more than a year.

i have an easier time calling businesses because, well, it's part of their business. unless they like email. i wish everyone had email. :)

[cheesybunny.livejournal.com]

I hate calling people a lot. And even when people call me I tend to be monosyllabic. It's partly that I really don't do the phone thing, and also that I'm not much of a talker. But I really dont like calling when I dont know if someone is home, and then I have to sound all dumb for someone else in their house.

[nolly.livejournal.com]

When some one calls me, it depends a lot on who it is and whether I was expecting a call, or expecting a call from that person. I startle easily, and I don't just mean that I jump when someone comes up behind me. If my brain is elsewhere, and someone calls unexpectedly, it'll probably take me a while to switch to "talking to X" mode, which unfortunately probably makes them think I don't want to talk to them.

[jkusters]

Is it a geek thing? Because I feel the same way you do. Imagine the torture I felt when I got promoted to a manager with all of my team members being in other states. I got over *some* of my phone phobia, but I was always calling directly to the person.

You're not alone, but I figure you know that by now... :-)

JOhn.

[nolly.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I've had similar conversations with a lot of people over the past few years. I think it's more a shy person thing, or an introvert thing than a geek thing, but I'm not sure.

[kat-chan.livejournal.com]

Thanks for posting this, Nolly. It's made me see that I'm not the only one that hates making these calls, and I don't feel like such a goob now. :)

[nolly.livejournal.com]

You're welcome :)

Must be my HR gene...

[sisterfish.livejournal.com]

We don't have call screening.
We don't have caller id.
We don't have voice mail.
We don't have cell phones.

I don't mind making phone calls at all. I'm very proficient at both leaving short, succinct messages, and long rambling ones.

I'm usually the one to order pizza in our house.

I really think that the advent and ease of e-mail has made lots of phone-phobic people even more so. (this also ties into my theory that e-mail can be really passive-agressive, but that's a different thread!)

Re: Must be my HR gene...

[nolly.livejournal.com]

I usually order pizza online. :) I have an answering machine, and voice mail on my cell phone, but if I'm home, I answer. (Unless I've accidentally let the battery die on the nearest cordless and can't get to a working phone fast enough.)

I don't think I'm any more phone-phobic than I was pre-email; less really, but that has more to do with growing up and with practice than with email.

[pyrzqxgl.livejournal.com]

I'm not a phone person -- when the phone rings my first urge is always to throw it out the window, because it's always interrupting something and usually a telemarketer. In general I'd rather send someone email that they can read at their convenience and keep for a written record if they like, instead of probably making them drop whatever they're doing to hear me say "uh, uh" a lot.

[signsoflife.livejournal.com]

So far as I'm concerned, Caller ID is a miracle. I just don't answer the phone if I don't know who's calling.

I also hate making phone calls. I've heard this refrain from other people -- "I hate answering the phone" and "I hate making calls" so frequently that sometimes I wonder how the telephone system got off the ground.p